Sanzo & the 7 chibi Demons
by Demon Boy
Summary: It's Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs in Saiyuki style!!! Staring Sanzo as Snow White, Kanzeon Bosatsu as the Queen, Homura as the Prince and Goku, Gojyo, Hakkai & the Kougaiji-tachi as the 7 Dwarfs or chibi-Demons. Enjoy it!!!


A/N: This fic was adapted from Snow White and the 7 dwarfs but of course, I edited it and made it a Saiyuki style. That means, not everything would be the same with Snow White and the 7 dwarfs… … … it'll be more foul, offensive, quite OOC and _yaoi_… … …it think.  P.S, this is not a one-shot fic, it's short but it might need a few chapters before it can be completed. 

So, Demon Boy presents to you, Saiyuki fans: 

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**Sanzo and the 7-chibidemons.**

Page 1: The Beauty with the Silkiest Hair 

Once upon a time, there lived a goddess named Kanzeon Bosatsu, with fair white skin, eyes that shined like the stars and a body as shapely as Christina Aguilera. But most all, her beauty came from her long luxurious black hair that was the smoothest, silkiest and sexiest in the land. But she knew that her nephew Sanzo, (_I dunno, it's actually Konzen right? But it'll be funnier if it were Sanzo_) had beautiful, smooth and silky blonde hair would definitely surpass her beauty and hair since his was much more attractive than hers.

So she decided not to give Sanzo any shampoo, conditioner or any other materials that might smoothened his divine blonde hair. Everyday, Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama would stand in front of her magical mirror called Jiroushin, strike a sexy pose and say:

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: " _Mirror, mirror on the wall. Do I not have the silkiest hair among them all_?" 

Jiroushin said the line that he would normally say when his dear mistress asked him '_the_' question. 

**Jiroushin**: " My beautiful goddess, your hair is the silkiest among them all and it can never be surpassed" *whispers to himself* "_If I didn't say so, I'm sure you'll grab a mallet and_ _break me into pieces like you did to the Li Touten mirror_" 

With that, Sanzo was saved from the jealous goddess' evil threat. 

But after many years has passed, Jiroushin's answer finally changed. 

 **Kanzeon Bosatsu**: " _Mirror, mirror on the wall. Do I not have the silkiest hair among them all_?" 

**Jiroushin**: " You'll have the silkiest hair among them all if it wasn't for a young beauty who has hair that surpasses yours, my lady. Not using shampoo for many years will never hide that silky gold hair of his"

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: "Flash the fool who dares surpass my silky hair!"

One screen no longer showed Jiroushin but a young, blonde beauty. 

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: "Sanzo?"

The queen's jealousy increased as she knew that her hair wasn't the silkiest among them all. Her hatred through wards Sanzo grew even more from before but she decided to let him live for a few more days before she started her cunning plan to kill Sanzo since she thought that killing him straight away might be slightly regretful. The reason, because Sanzo was the only one who knew how to clean the royal bathroom properly. And until she has found another with a talent like Sanzo, she would kill him right away. 

On the next day, while Sanzo was scrubbing the floor that was filled with dirt, he started cursing his aunt as usual to make himself feel ease. 

**Sanzo**: *pissed* "You damn old woman!!! I'll sue you one day if you don't stop bossing me around with chores that a servant was supposed to do" *sighs* "What the heck, maybe I should sing a song so I can know how great my voice is"

**Sanzo**: *singing* __

_I'm cursing, _

_I'm cursing,_

_That my aunt would die. _

_So I will,_

_So I will,_

_Have peace. _

_*echoes: Have peace*_

_I'm hoping,_

_I'm hoping,_

_That my prince would come._

_And save me,_

_And save me,_

_From hell. _

_*echoes: From Hell* _

He stopped singing as he noticed some pigeons gathering around the wishing well or in other words, the area where he was. They started hooting aloud. He felt annoyed with the pigeons who, interrupted his singing and chase them away by shooting them.__

_[sound effect~ gunshot: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang~!]_

And the pigeons flew away, frightened. 

(A/N: *laughs* Yup, this is one of the Snow White songs entitled "_Wishing_" but I changed it. Don't worry, the tune is still the same. Oh yeah, the part when snow White was singing "Ha, ha, ha ,ha, haa~" I changed it into Sanzo firing his gun. Hope you don't mind. Enjoy the rest of the fic)

**Sanzo**: *sulking* *vein popping out* "Ah! Who needs you? You're just a flock of stupid birds who leave nothing for me except droppings! I hope you guys get shot on bird-hunting season!"

As he continued to cursed on, the pigeons who flew away from him came back to give a little present since he wanted it so much. You guessed it; they left their droppings on Sanzo and his surroundings. Sanzo steamed up and chased the damn birds away.

**Sanzo**: *cursing* "Die! You damn pigeons!!! *Starts cleaning himself & continues cursing* " One day I'll find you again, shoot you with my gun and eat you for my breakfast, lunch and dinner. If there are any leftovers, I'll eat them for supper and you pigeons will extinct. * continues cursing on… … … making himself like an idiot*

From a close distance, a young handsome prince passes by the castle of the beautiful yet jealous Goddess of Mercy and hears the cursing of a rude yet soothing voce of Sanzo that could be heard from 100km. Homura looked around and decided to have a peek on the young beauty with such an attractive voice.

**Homura**: "Where is that beautiful voice coming from? It must from that castle since there are a lot of pigeons above it doing their business while the voice I hear is cursing them" *climbs over the wall to see who was cursing so loudly and professionally* 

**Sanzo**: *cursing loudly* You @$$#()!3$!!!! #@*& 2 #3LL!!!

**Homura**: *staring at Sanzo with sparkling eyes* *sighs heavily* "What a beautiful view of my dear cursing _bishounen_" *continues staring* "If I only knew his beautiful name"

**Sanzo**: *cursing* One day, I, **Genjo Sanzo**, will kill all the birds in the world so no one, namely me, would ever be hit on the head with bird droppings!!!!"  

**Homura**: " Sanzo? Genjo Sanzo? So, that is his name?" *cheers* "What a beautiful name! It's fit for a beauty as beautiful as him. His eyes are as shiny as the stars in the sky, his skin is as fair as snow and his hair… though he didn't wash it or anything… … … I'm sure it shines just like the sun… … … *gets hit on the face a slipper*

**Sanzo**: * runs over to Homura and pick up his slipper* "Who the hell are you? A peeping tom? Aren't peeing toms supposed to peep on women in the bathroom? *creeps out* "You're not gay are you? Peeping on me?" *inches away from Homura is out cold* "If you are, get lost. I have no intention in being a gay with you"

**Homura**: *rubs his head* "Are you sure? You look like a guy who could be gay with anyone who steals your attention" 

**Sanzo**: *thinks over* " Yeah? So what if that's true? It's not like I'll like a psycho like you"

**Homura**: "What ever, but I'll try my best to win you even if it means death" *thinks over* "OK, maybe not death but I'll do anything you wish for me to do. And if I succeed, you'll have to marry me and live happily ever after with me in the West"

**Sanzo**: *puzzled* "West?" 

**Homura**: *shines* "Yeah, my castle is located in the West" 

**Sanzo**:  Hmm? *thinking*  "Anything, huh? How about getting me some shampoo? I haven't had any since that old hag found out that I could surpass her beauty. Maybe some cigarettes, booze and bullets so I can kill you if you fail your task"

**Homura**: *shines*  As you wish!!! * runs to town to buy the things Sanzo-sama asked for*

**Sanzo**: *grins evilly* "Sucker!" *chuckles lightly* "Like I'll ever accept your proposal!  Not to mention, yours truly **is** not and **will** never be gay with a weirdo with two different eye colours. Sure, he has a sharp body that no female or male could resists but with a weird attitude like his. Anyone could break up with him. Still, I wonder how he is doing? It's not easy to get a good brand of shampoo in town since everyone is so selfish and callous just like me. Still, if he does do as he is told, wouldn't that mean he's my loyal dog? Ah, who cares? I'll just accept him even though he's a freak of nature. 

As for pitiful Prince Homura, he was in the middle of the woods where salvation couldn't be found in 12 miles. He took out a map from his pocket and started looking around for the correct direction to town but he couldn't find it. It was either his map which, had problems or him, who hadn't any sense of direction. Homura scratched the end of his ears and thought over about the time when his instructor, Shien, taught about finding your way out of the forest or woods. 

_~Flashback in progress~_

**Shien**: * pointing at the broken branch on the ground* " Here! Notice that this broken branch is on the ground? It means that you've probably went through this area or someone else did" * eyes Homura* "Homura-sama, are you listening to a word that I'm saying?"

**Homura**: *yawns* " Not really, the things your saying are really boring. Don't you ever get tired of blabbing?" 

**Shien**: *puts finger on chin & starts thinking* " Come to think of it, I've never been asked a question like that before" *eyes Homura with a smile* "You might be one of the best students I ever had for asking such a brilliant question"

**Homura**: *raises an eyebrow* "_Shyeah_, like you have other students to teach? Face the fact, Shien, I'm the only person who hired you to teach this type of boring shit" *crosses arms* "Not to mention, you're wasting good money by telling all the stuff that I wouldn't ever need to know in 500 years"

**Shien**: *sighs* "What ever, it's your money not mine. So if you want to play hooky. Go ahead, I don't mind but mock my words, one day you'll need this sort of training when you get lost in the woods"

**Homura**: *smug* "You wish! How can a great _kami_ like me, get lost in the woods? I'm not that stupid, you know?" 

**Shien**: * sweat drop* *whispers to himself* " I hope carnivorous animals eat you when you get lost in the woods" *starts laughing hysterically by himself that Homura has to turn and see how mental he has become*

_~End of Flashback~_

**Homura**: *sighs* "Maybe I should've listened to Shien and pay attention to his stupid, boring and lame lessons of the wild… … … All he does is bullshit and gets paid for doing that. Sometimes I don't understand what life means??? " 

Back to Sanzo, who continued mopping the floor (eh? Since when was he so nice to do all this stuff?) He hummed a tune that was entitled " _Just Whistle While You Work_"  (yeah, it's a Snow White single) His aunt, Kanzeon Bosatsu passed by him and stared at him, puzzled. Wondering why such an anti-social jerk was humming such a cheerful and happy tune.

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *staring confusedly at her nephew* "Are you feeling like yourself, today?" *puts her hand on Sanzo's forehead* 

**Sanzo**: *pushes Kanzeon Bosatsu's hand away* "Keep away from me, I'm fine! I just need a little fresh air" *looks outside the window* " I'm going out for a while and I won't be coming back until you give me my freedom back. So see you in hell!" *runs off to the forest, leaving Kanzeon Bosatsu alone with nothing but his cleaning materials*

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *wonders* "Hmm,  I better call the hunter to hunt my dear nephew down so he wouldn't have to complain about anything, act rude in front of his great aunt and above all, he will never have the silkiest hair among them all!!!!" *laughs proudly* "_Oho ho ho ho ho_ _ho ho ho ho…_ " 

After laughing proudly for 3 hours, Queen Kanzeon Bosatsu decided it was time for her nephew's death so she called the hunter, Zenon with her mobile. Wow, talk about modern citizens!

**Zenon**: *using mobile* "So, you want me to do some hunting, right?"

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *using mobile* "Yeah"

**Zenon**: *using mobile* "You want me to hunt down your nephew, right?" 

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *using mobile* Yeah

**Zenon**: *using mobile* "You want me to kill your nephew, right?"

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *using mobile* "Yeah"

**Zenon**: *using mobile* " And bring his heart back to you, right?" 

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *using mobile* " Yeah"

**Zenon**: *using mobile* "So, is your nephew, that blonde, rude, anti-social, callous and aloof guy?"

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *using mobile* "Yeah" *gets piss off all of a sudden* "Hey Zenon! Can't you ask any other questions that doesn't include the answer of '_yes_' and  '_no_'? It's starting to be pretty boring!"

**Zenon**: *puts his mobile faraway from his ears* *sweat drops* "OK, here's a question" *puts mobile closer to himself again* " Do you think I can win a million dollars within this week?" 

**Kanzeon Bosatsu**: *vein pops out* *growls like an animal* *shuts her/his mobile* 

**Zenon**: "Huh?" *still listening to his mobile* " Hello? Queen? Are you still there?" *looks at his mobile* *still doesn't notices that Kanzeon has off her mobile* "Hmm, maybe s/he's in the little Queen's room. I'll wait until s/he gets back so we can discuss more about my luck. At the mean time, I'll look for Snow White, I mean Sanzo and hunt him down as the Queen says" *skips off to the forest with his mobile on at Kanzeon's conversation* 

In the forest, Sanzo continues walking around without any harm. He stopped at the junction that had two paths that might lead to the place he wants to head to. One path was bright, spacious and peaceful while the other path was dark, shallow and noisy. Sanzo couldn't decide on which path was the right path that could lead to where he wanted to go which was the West. Or in other words, Prince Homura's castle. Who would've thought that Sanzo has fallen deeply in love with the young and dashing prince.

**Sanzo**: *thinking really hardly* "Hmm, if I was an idiot like Homura. Which path would I choose?" *thinks like Homura* *stops thinking* "Yuck, why on earth do I have to think like me? I bet he doesn't have any sense of direction!"

**Homura**: *in New York*  *sneezes all of a sudden* "Hmm, weird? I don't remember catching a cold" *sees a man* "Excuse me, do you know the way to town?" 

**Man**: *stares at Homura's outfit, a little disgust since Homura's outfit was a little dirty and torn due to what he went through while he was looking for the correct town* 

**Homura**: *looking like a beggar begging for money* "If you don't know how to get there, just say so!"

**Man**: *notices Homura's eyes that were different colours* " Freak!!!" *creeps out* "Here take it! Take it all!!!!" *dashed off into the crowd where he can't be seen anymore*

**Homura**: *confused* "He looks like he has never seen a _kami_ before. Poor mortal" *looks at the money the gave him* "Hmm, maybe this can get me to town" *looks at the cab that is heading through wards him and waves* *enters the cab with the cash in his hands* *asks politely* " Can you get me to town?" 

**Cabby**: * in an African accent* "Sure buddy, and aren't you too old for Halloween?"

**Homura**: *sweat drops* " Halloween?" *wonders* "What is that? Some ritual for the death?"

**Cabby**: *shakes head* "_Ai~,_ you're hopeless, buddy" 

(A.N: This has to be one of the most weirdest conversation I've ever typed. I mean, I'm torturing Homura and making him seem like a complete idiot. Aren't I bad? I guess that's why I said the characters might be a little too OOC. Sorry! Sue me! XP)

Back to Sanzo-sama, who was still thinking about which path he should choose. And finally he decided on the path that has been in his mind for ages. He stood up manly, took a deep breath and walked into the dark, shallow and noisy path. What an idiot…

**Sanzo**: *whistling* " Hmm, maybe this path is the wrong path?" *continues to enter the dark, shallow and noisy path* 

Behind Sanzo, was a figure and seem as if it was following Sanzo ever since he started his journey to the West. The figure, took out a small dagger out from his pocket and grin like a psycho who had been locked up in a mental hospital for '_Happy People'_   or in other word, 'a place for insane humans'.

The figure followed Sanzo into the path quietly as a mouse but he was soon discovered by Sanzo when his mobile starting beeping. The figure dropped his dagger on the ground as Sanzo turned to see whom, it was, showing off their mobile. Yup, it was none other than Zenon, the huntsman. 

**Sanzo**: *glaring at Zenon* "So it's you" 

**Zenon**: *offing his mobile and keeping it into his pocket* *smiles sheepishly* " Hi, Princess Sanzo"

**Sanzo**: *sweat drops* "Please don't call me that. I still have to live on my manly dignity even though I'm playing the part of a heroin" 

**Zenon**:  Oh, as you say, my lady.

**Sanzo**: *glares* "What?"

**Zenon**: *shaking* "I meant, my lord!!! Not lady but lord"

**Sanzo**: *sighs*"Whatever! Anyway let me guess. My aunt, Queen Kanzeon Bosatsu, got jealous of my silky hair and me. So she decided to kill me or in other words, she found a better toilet cleaner and decided that it was my time to leave this world. Am I right?" 

**Zenon**: *shocked* "Yeah, something like that. But how did you know?"

**Sanzo**: I read her diary. She wrote loads of junks about her love life, plans to rule the world and cunning schemes to kill me. That's how I got the idea of running away before that witch could get her hands on me" *faces Zenon* "So, are you going to kill me now or sit on your ass until the next century?"

**Zenon**: "Huh?" *remembers his duty* "Oh yeah, thanks reminding me" *picks up dagger and tries to strike Sanzo with it*

**Sanzo**: *stops Zenon*  Hold your horses, pal!!! Aren't you supposed to say that you can't kill a princess, I mean prince as beautiful as me? Come on? Look at this hair!" *turns so Zenon can see his silky blonde hair* "I didn't get this hair for a reason, you know? As a great lord with silky hair, I order you to let me pass and enter that dark, shallow and noisy path without you following me" 

**Zenon**: *speechless* "Fine! You can go. I don't mind at all since you're talking way too much and it's starting to annoy me"

**Sanzo**: "Really? Thanks!" *waves to Zenon and walks into the path* 

**Zenon**: "Wait!!!" *stops Sanzo* "What am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to bring your heart back to the Queen"

**Sanzo**: "Oh, just find a pig and cut it's heart out. I'm sure the old hag's vision is poor by now. She wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the heart of a pig and a beauty" *pants* "Before I forget, try to plaster up the mouth of my aunt's stupid mirror before you show her anything since he can tell the difference of anything. That mirror, Jiroushin is a real weasel! He respects my aunt so much that he'll break himself for her"  

**Zenon**: "Thanks for the advice. Oh yeah, before you leave, do you mind running into the path while screaming like a girl?" 

**Sanzo**: "Huh? Why should I do that? It'll ruin my reputation" 

**Zenon**: "Come on, be a pal. The readers would like it!"

**Sanzo**: *thinking* "All right I'll do it!" * runs into the dark, shallow and noisy path while screaming like a girl*

**Zenon**: *starts laughing hysterically as soon as Sanzo went deeper into the path* "What a fool!!! He actually believed that doing an embarrassing thing like that might get the readers attention!" *continues laughing all the way to the castle of Queen Kanzeon Bosatsu*

_~To Be Continued~_

**Next:** **" Introduction of the 7 Chibi Demons"**

A/N: I think this fic is very meaningless. It makes no sense, I don't even know how I got the idea for it. Anyway, I decided to make Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama's gender a female since it'll be very annoying for me to call her/him a queen or king. So please don't mind that! I think I probably have lots of spelling and grammar mistakes since I was rushing for the deadline. Please don't mind that too. Please give some suggestions for this fic, I don't mind them. If you want to flame me for all the rubbish I wrote, go ahead but you'll get a surprise from me. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed reading one of my junks. Please review, thank you very much. ^_^


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